Blog #1- The Big Question

1.)

What is my big question?  I have many, to be honest.  However, one that seems to keep popping up in my mind is why do we regret?  I’m only seventeen, and I’ve got a lot of regrets.  Some big ones.  And I want to know why.  Where do we get the idea that it’s okay to regret things we’ve done throughout our lives?  Is it natural to regret or have we just been raised with the notion that we should regret things we’ve done?

It was late at night, and I was angry.  I mean, really angry.  My mom and I have been disagreeing over colleges and majors and careers ever since I retracted my seventh grade statement that I wanted to be a nurse.  I don’t want that anymore.  I want to do something that I’m good at and passionate for.  I want to do something that challenges me, and I want to show the world… and my mom, that I can do whatever I want.  Everything she brought up was what I was against.  You won’t make a lot of money.  Acting is not a solid career.  Screenwriting isn’t very sensible.  She just didn’t get it, and wouldn’t let me speak.  I was frustrated.  And upset.  And really sad that she didn’t want me to do whatever made me happy.  So I wrote her an e-mail, disputing everything she brought up.  At the end of the e-mail, I told her she would never understand.  That she never wanted anything that she had to work for, and she just took the easy route for everything.  I told her I didn’t want to be her, stuck in an office doing something that will never mean anything in the end.  Then, I pressed send.  And she never brought it up again.  I regret that.  I regret that I can’t say sorry to her or that I possibly made her feel unimportant in any way.  I love her, and she’s the most important person in my entire life.  I feel that regret every day.

 

2.)

I think any movie, book, or song relates to regret.  We all carry our regrets around, and it’s like a stone in our pocket.  They are weighty, but eventually we start going for longer periods of time without noticing the stone.  Then we reach into our pockets for something, and we feel the stone.  We remember the regret, and then that weightiness comes back, strong as ever.  A really good book, song, or movie touches us in different ways; but it should relate to everything in our lives.  Regret, death, life, love, happiness; everything.